Good morning,

Remember those cringey holiday letters we used to send in the '90s—the ones that doubled as résumés? Perfect kids. Perfect outcomes. Proof we were winning at life. Then came the curated family photo era. Matching outfits, dogs included. Women producing the magic, running the logistics, managing the feelings—because if things fell apart, it was our fault.

The holidays have always been a kind of performance, now stretched from Labor Day to New Year’s, with women carrying the load. At PROVOKED, we talk about this a lot—naming the invisible labor and giving credit where it’s long overdue.

Me? I missed my deadline for this letter. I’m sitting at my dining room table, not set for Christmas dinner but stacked with notes, unwrapped gifts, and too many lists. At least snow is falling—I’ll take that as a win.

And when this lands in your inbox, I know the reality will be uneven: joy, fear, frustration, anxiety. Whatever you’re feeling, know this: You’re not doing it wrong.

Thanks for being here.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays.

The Seasons of Christmas

BY SUSAN DABBAR

Every season of a woman’s life comes with its own rules—many unspoken, most self-imposed. We learn how to show up. How to hold it together. How to meet expectations we didn’t exactly choose. And for a long time, it works.

Until it doesn’t.

Then comes the reckoning: Do we surrender to what life hands us? Or do we evolve through it—the letting go, the recalibration, the clarity that age brings?

There is a turning point where surrender isn’t defeat. It’s the win.

Read More

The holidays have a way of distilling life—what mattered, what changed, what endured. If you had to tell your story now, in just 18 words, what would you say?

Submit Here

FROM MY KITCHEN TO YOURS

Sticky Toffee Pudding, Perfected

My daughter and I spent a long weekend in London for what we thought would be a mother–daughter Eras Tour adventure. Somewhere between the concert outfits and the second rainstorm, our plans quietly shifted into a full-blown sticky toffee pudding tasting tour.

One restaurant became two. Two became several. We ordered it everywhere—elegant versions and the kind that arrive swimming in sauce, daring you to finish. When we got home, we made a promise: We were going to perfect it.

This recipe is the result. It’s warm, date-forward, deeply caramelized, and indulgent, with just enough restraint to go back for seconds. Which, frankly, is the point.

This is the dessert we now make every December 24.

Not because it’s trendy.

Because it’s unforgettable.

Find Recipe Here

Before Hallmark: Christmas at the Movies

What we are streaming...

These films come from a time when Christmas moved slower—when stories trusted silence, wit, and restraint. Watching them now isn’t about going backward; it’s about remembering a rhythm we’ve lost, and borrowing it for a couple of quiet hours.

The Shop Around the Corner

1940

James Stewart and Margaret Sullavan— Workplace enemies-to-lovers that inspired You’ve Got Mail. Streaming on Max, Hulu, Amazon, and Apple TV.

Babes in Toyland

1937

Laurel and Hardy’s surreal Toyland Christmas fantasy—a fan fav for kids and adults. Streaming on Prime Video and Apple TV.

The Bishop's Wife

1947

Cary Grant, Loretta Young—An angel intervenes in a struggling marriage and a church campaign; it’s gentle, romantic. Streaming on Amazon Prime Video, TCM, Peacock/Peacock Premium, and Apple TV.

Christmas in Connecticut

1945

Barbara Stanwyck—A women’s-magazine lifestyle fraud forced to host a war hero for a “perfect” holiday on a farm; it’s peak farce and female performance pressure. Steaming on Apple TV and Amazon.

Holiday Inn

1942

Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire—The one with “White Christmas” and a year of holidays at a country inn. Streaming on Amazon and Apple TV.

FROM THE ARCHIVES

Some of our most-read pieces—stories that hit us right now.

Why We Should Stop Treating Regret Like a Dirty Word by Melissa T. Shultz
Regret isn’t a failure of judgment; it’s often proof that you’ve lived, chosen, and learned.

Book Recommendations for Women Who Read the Room by Beth Kanter
Sometimes the smartest self-care is choosing exactly the right book for the mood you’re in. No explaining required.

Feminist Midlife Manifesto by Abby Heugel
Midlife isn’t about softening your stance—it’s about saying it out loud.

When Grief Becomes Content by Melissa Gould
Hollywood loves a clean arc, but grief refuses one—and that mismatch matters.

Refriending a Midlife Friendship: Can You Go Back? by Nina Malkin
Some relationships don’t end cleanly. Deciding whether to reopen a door can be its own kind of growth.