PROVOKEDmagazine

Our weekly newsletter with new articles every Thursday.

Nov 13 • 5 min read

Your Playing Nice Era Is Over


Good morning,

I've used the phrase "old enough to know better" frequently while writing for PROVOKED. But what do I really mean?

Are we simply saying that women our age are smart, savvy, and seasoned? Or are we finally acting on what we know better?

We're told to play nice. Don't cause a fuss. But the real shift happens when we go from "old enough to know better" to acting like we do. We stop cushioning our truth to make other people comfortable and stop doubting instincts we earned the hard way.

It’s not about caring less; it’s about trusting ourselves more.

It’s why we reject the patronizing “50 is the new 30.” We don’t want to return to smaller versions of ourselves. We fought to become this one.

Which is why a number like BMI now feels insulting. We know when we feel strong. And when we revisit films like the The Breakfast Club, we see them differently. Not because we’ve lost innocence, but because we’ve gained context and authority.

This is the season of seeing clearly. Living without performing. As we push into the holidays, let's keep this energy.

Are you in?


CULTURE

The Breakfast Club Turns 40—A Little Worse for the Wear

BY JENNIFER GREEN

When The Breakfast Club first hit theaters, it felt like someone had finally taken us seriously. But 40 years later, rewatching it as adults—parents, mentors, women who have lived real life—feels different. The beloved characters, the pain, the rebellion … and the parts we simply didn’t get then, or didn’t have language for yet. We’re not tearing down what shaped us. We’re finally seeing it clearly—with age, context, and a little wisdom—and seeing ourselves more clearly, too.


DEAR READER

Welcome to Dear Reader—These stories come straight from our readers: smart, funny, fearless, and unfiltered.

Stop Telling Me 50 Is the New 30. 50 Isn’t the New Anything.

BY CHRISTINA DAVES

What if we stopped treating aging like something we need to disguise? In this piece, reader Christina Daves pushes back on the patronizing mantra “50 is the new 30.” She doesn’t want to be 30 again—or smaller, quieter, or more accommodating. She wants to own midlife exactly as it is: grounded, visible, and gloriously unedited. Read it then ask yourself what part of you refuses to shrink.


TAKE NOTE

🇲🇽 Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum, 63, was groped in broad daylight while walking to work. She pressed charges—not just for herself, but for every woman who’s ever been told to “be careful,” and “don’t make a scene.” At a certain age, the performance of politeness just … breaks. And while some media outlets debate whether women are “too much” in the workplace, women are still fighting for the basic right to move through the world without being touched. The cultural conversation is asking the wrong question.

🔥 Menopause’s black box era is ending. The FDA is removing the long-feared “black box” warning from hormone replacement therapy, replacing it with age-specific guidance that acknowledges benefits for many women who start HRT within 10 years of menopause. In the ever-confusing menopause news space, two new drugs are also on the way—one hormonal, one not. Translation: Women our age are finally being treated as informed adults capable of making decisions about our own bodies. About time.

💳 Your points card might not be as sacred soon. Splitting the check might be harder next time you're out for a ladies' lunch. Visa and Mastercard are inching toward a settlement that could let businesses decide whether to accept high-fee rewards cards—the ones we use to rack up miles and hotel nights. If the deal goes through, you may start seeing more “card restrictions may apply.” Not panic time yet, more of a reminder that perks aren’t permanent. We will adjust and carry on.


HUMOR

Yes, I’m Middle-Aged. No, I Don’t Want to Monetize It.

BY ABBY HEUGEL

We’ve reached the age where everything—including our wrinkles and Spanx struggles—is considered "content." Culture keeps telling women to monetize the mess, build the brand, hashtag the #relatablestruggle. What if we just … don’t? Does midlife need a marketing plan, or can it simply be private, joyful, un-performed, and unapologetically ours? This satirical takedown of influencer culture asks: Can’t we live our life unbroadcasted?


WIN A LUXE WINTER ESCAPE

Ready to pack your bags? Here's how to enter:

Enter for a chance to win a 2-night stay at the Stein Eriksen Lodge in Park City, Utah—including a deluxe room and breakfast for two (valued at $3,000).
Plus:
$500 in travel essentials from Mark & Graham.

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY; Sweepstakes begins at 9:05PM PST on November 7, 2025 and ends at 11:59PM PST on November 30, 2025; open only to residents of the 50 United States of America, excluding Rhode Island and Arizona residents, who are 18 years old or older as of entry time; limit one (1) entry per person; void where prohibited; see Official Rules at https://www.markandgraham.com/pages/sweeps-rules/ for additional eligibility restrictions, prize descriptions/restrictions/values, odds, and complete details; Sponsor: Mark & Graham, 3250 Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94109.

FULL SWEEPSTAKES RULES HERE


BRAIN AND BODY

As a Dietitian, I Call BS on BMI

BY LAUREN MANAKER MS, RDN, LD

Ever wonder who dreamed up BMI—and why it’s the number doctors can't let go of? Guess what? It was never about your health, or women at all. If you walk out of your appointments feeling like you’ve failed, you’re not alone—and you’re definitely not the problem. The real issue? The metric, not the woman. Time to demand data that actually matters: metabolic health, muscle, and truly lived strength.


FROM THE ARCHIVES

Is Catastrophizing a Mental State or a Secret Power Move?

BY SUSAN DABBAR

There comes a point in a woman’s life when “catastrophizing” stops looking irrational and starts looking like pattern recognition. We’ve lived enough life to know how quickly things can go sideways—and we're too old to pretend otherwise for anyone’s comfort. The people telling us to “just relax” are usually the ones caught unprepared. This piece asks whether catastrophizing is anxiety … or experience.


READER SPOTLIGHT

✒️ Here's what one reader had to say this week:

“Embracing the belief that we deserve to feel good allows us to celebrate who we are in this moment, with the wisdom and experience we’ve cultivated throughout our life. Now on my weekend to-do list: throw out any bras/underwear that don’t suit me anymore and start researching the silkiest options I can find.” —Robin on Good Lingerie Is a Love Letter to You and Your Body

Want to be featured next? Drop a comment on your favorite piece—we read them all.


OUR SHORT LIST

🫀The body keeps going—but not every organ got the longevity memo. From Wired, a video explainer on going into your 70s, 80s, and 90s is worth the watch.

🧶 Maybe it was never “just a hobby.” Maybe it’s your next income stream.

🌎 Dr. Lucy Jones, seismologist, knows exactly when the earth is going to shake—and why we should pay attention.

🎁 Pro tip: Shop for the holidays while you travel. Here are the actually good things to bring back.

👀 Coming soon: ChatGPT After Hours. Verified adults will soon have access to “mature” conversations. Sure. What could go wrong?

Love PROVOKED? Share it with a friend.

One quick click and they’ll thank you (and so will we).

✍️ Are you a writer? Do people call you opinionated? Got an unapologetic POV? We’re looking for freelancers with a distinct voice.

Pitch Us, We're Ready!

📝 Missed a Thursday drop? No worries. All of our past newsletters are waiting for you right here.

⌨️ Our newsletter and articles are written by Susan and the talented writers of PROVOKED. Get to know the women behind them here.

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