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THIS WEEK: TOXIC POSITIVITY · TIPPING CULTURE · DESIRE · REVOLUTION
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Good morning,
You probably didn’t hear about Katherine Legge this past weekend.
She's a 45‑year‑old professional race car driver, and on Sunday she became the sixth person in history to attempt what’s called the Double—starting both the Indianapolis 500 and the Coca‑Cola 600 on the same day. The other five were all men. She's the first woman to ever try.
It went badly. She crashed at Indianapolis after 17 laps. She got on a plane, flew to Charlotte, and the right front wheel came off her car. She finished 31st in one race and 33rd in the other. Two colossal failures on the same day.
Then she stood in front of the cameras, called it a “calamity of errors,” and said the opportunity to attempt the Double was itself the highlight.
I keep thinking about that: the opportunity to attempt it.
I had my own version decades ago—a Fortune 100 client and an important deliverable. I was in way over my head. I let the client down. I wept. I was embarrassed in the specific way that hits when the failure is yours and you have nowhere to put it.
That failure became the single best teacher I ever had.
We are taught, especially as women, to attempt only the things we know we can finish. To enter races we're likely to win. To raise our hands only when we have the right answer.
Katherine Legge attempted something only six people in history have ever tried. She failed publicly, on the biggest racing day of the year. And she’s already thinking about the next one.
The real risk isn't failing in public. It's sticking to the scripts that keep us small—about desire, money, or our "good attitude." This week's issue is about setting them down, and about what it looks like to attempt the thing.
Glad you're here.
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LIFE
We Smiled Until It Hurt
BY NINA MALKIN
We were taught to play nice, stay positive, and absorb whatever came next. Decades later, that conditioning has a name—toxic positivity—and it turns out the body has been keeping score the whole time. What it costs to smile through everything, and what happens when you finally stop.
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WELLNESS
Resentment Killed Your Libido. Not Biology.
BY JILL WALDBIESER
We've spent decades hearing that men always want it and women rarely do. New research says both sides of that story are wrong, and that the gap we've been calling biological was built by something else entirely. READ MORE
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This is a paid sponsorship with World of Books
I belong to three book clubs, plus I'm a busy reader on my own. That means a lot of books rotate through my shelves every year, and most of them are read once and never picked up again.
I used to feel guilty about that. Now I just send them off to World of Books.
This past week, I shipped a box of 30 book club picks from last year—1929, In My Time of Dying, The Bee Sting, a stack of others I'd talked about, written about, and was finally ready to let go of.
Here's how it works. Scan the barcode with the World of Books app. Get an instant quote. Print the free shipping label. That's it. Easy and efficient. Payment by bank transfer, PayPal, or check.
The books with life left find another reader. The ones too far gone get recycled instead of ending up in a landfill. You get a little money back. Everyone wins.
If you're in a book club—or three—this is what to do with last year's stack.
Use code [PROVOKED15] for an extra 15 percent.
Start with World of Books
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TAKE NOTE
Timely and worth your attention.
🩺 Nearly two‑thirds of U.S. doctors are now using an AI chatbot called OpenEvidence to inform clinical decisions, and most patients have no idea. The tool pulls from peer‑reviewed medical journals and saves doctors time—but it also occasionally hallucinates. Researchers worry junior doctors are losing the muscle of independent clinical judgment. Worth knowing before your next appointment, especially if you’re advocating for yourself in a system that already dismisses midlife women’s complaints.
💪 There's a name for the muscle loss women start to experience after 30 and lose even faster after 60: sarcopenia. The HHS Office on Women's Health says it affects 10-20 percent of older adults and is underdiagnosed in women, who are at higher risk due to menopausal hormone changes. There's no medication. Only strength training and protein. The aisle won't save you on this one either.
🐝 The Scripps National Spelling Bee finals air Thursday (tonight) on ION from 8-10 p.m. ET. Watch 247 spellers from all 50 states and five countries, ages 9 to 15, eliminated word by word until two are left. This year, ESPN's Mina Kimes takes over as host—the first celebrity in the chair since LeVar Burton, and the first woman ever. Pour yourself something, settle in, and root for the kid who pronounces appoggiatura like it's nothing.
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CULTURE
The Tip Screen Knows Exactly What It's Doing
BY ABBY HEUGEL
Why do we hit "no tip" and feel guilty the whole way home? Why do we tip through bad service just to avoid the awkward silence? The guilt screen was engineered for that exact moment. Your discomfort is the revenue model. READ MORE
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DEAR READER
Why I Cut My Hair, Stripped My Closet, and Put My Life In Storage
BY MARJAH SIMON
She's been an Army soldier, Air Force officer, federal lawyer, chef, entrepreneur, and author. Through all of it, something was quietly consuming her time, money, and focus. How her most powerful reinvention turned out to be subtraction. READ MORE
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ICYMI | Episode 2 is out ...
Follow Barb, Gloria, Janet, and seven other midlife women navigating all their messy book club drama. This is a series—like a TV show. Each episode drops the first week of the month. Catch up on Episodes 1 and 2 now: wry, smart, relatable. Episode 3 drops next week, and you'll want to be ready.
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READER SPOTLIGHT
"This is an amazing answer to a problem I’ve been trying to understand with two of my three daughters. Thank you for putting it into words that are so clear and easy to understand what the hell is going on! I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong. Thank you again." —Jodi on The Parenting Paradox Want to be featured next? Comment on your favorite piece—we read them all.
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This is a paid sponsorship with World of Books
The library won't take them. Goodwill barely wants them. World of Books does—scan the barcode, print the free label, ship for free. The books with life left find another reader. The rest get recycled.
Use code [PROVOKED15] for an extra 15 percent.
Start with World of Books
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A quick note before you go.
PROVOKEDplus is where the rest of PROVOKED lives—Sunday's newsletter, our book club, and the live events we're launching this summer. Good Enough is the Sunday read, with smart musings, recipes, dupes, curated shopping picks, and culture. The first Salon with Susan launches in July. Book club kicks off the same month. A live summer gathering is being planned for August.
❝ I love the curated shopping in WORTH IT. Susan and her team weave their weekly picks inside a unique story that's interesting and personal—with a great eye for stylish pieces, great reads, and fantastic dupes. It's my new favorite go-to for recommendations.
— Nancy, PROVOKEDplus member
If you've been reading every Thursday and wondering what else there is, this is it. Founders Circle has a few spots left. The regular tier is open now.
Join PROVOKEDplus →
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